God is Faithful

This has been a tough week. No referral. Anxiety over finances. Paralyzing fear that we've bitten off more than we can chew.

But God is faithful. He met me right where I was. I am trying to catch up on a Bible study that I didn't finish last semester. On the darkest day I've experience in a while I read these words in 1 John ... "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." The Word says, "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." WOW!  The words I should have read months ago, God saved for that moment. When I needed to hear that perfect love casts out fear, and that if I abide in love I'm abiding in Him and He's abiding in me.

Why am I doing all of this? Why did I quit my job and spend all my money and months of my time and commit a lifetime of myself? LOVE. I asked God to give me love for this child. Enough love for the times when I can't see how it's all going to work. Enough love to keep me going though I don't even know what she looks like. And He answered that prayer. He IS love. Did you know that Romans 5:5 says "God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He as given us"? It wasn't even a challenge for Him to give me that kind of love. He pours it in!

God also knew how alone I was feeling. He surrounded me with a group of women at my Bible study to pray over me and encourage me. Thank you.


And late that evening I checked my email and received the news that we were approved for one of the grants we applied for! Oh God, THANK YOU!

Our journey is far from over. We still have a wait in front of us. We still have money to raise. But we know that God is faithful and will supply all our needs according to His riches in glory. And we are encouraged.

Waiting on Adoption Referral Psychosis

Okay ... I take it back! The waiting patiently and savoring every moment thing was last week. Now I'm starting to lose it. I stumbled on this post on "waiting on adoption referral psychosis" and it says perfectly what I really could not come up with the words to describe. So check it out and say a prayer for us as we wait for a referral that could come "any day." (So we were told last Monday!)

http://www.adoptiongoddess.com/2010/01/angels-and-marigolds-waiting-on-adoption-referral-psychosis/

What God is Doing While We Wait ...

This season of our lives feels a little bit similar to the frequency of my blog updates ... slow! If you're like me, you want to just fast forward through times of waiting. I want to hurry up to the exciting parts. But I'm praying that God will help me see the beauty of this process. I don't want to just endure it. I want to savor it and take notice of every little thing God is doing to prepare us for the day we've been longing for. The day we meet our Charlotte.

To the untrained eye, it may appear that we're just going about our lives as usual while we wait. And in some ways we are. But beneath the surface ... there's preparation and transformation.

God is ...

testing our faith. I look at what we have and what we need to complete this adoption, and (I'll just be honest) there's a gap between the two.

This is a picture of me pouring over another grant application. And might I add, I was mistaken when I thought my paperwork days were over after I finished the home study and dossier! We have applied, but we're still waiting. We don't know if we'll be approved for any of them. But we know that if we aren't, then God has another way. This kind of knowing does not come easily. It does not come through instant gratification. It comes from YEARS of following God one step at a time and WATCHING Him show up. 

This does not feel comfortable. I wish I had the whole story in front of me so I could skip to the last page and make sure everything worked out. But that's not faith. God is using these days – where it feels like we're out on a skinny limb, hanging over a cliff, with a stiff wind picking up – to make us fully aware of who we are and what we're capable of apart from His provision.


James 1:3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 


And God is ...

growing an unspeakable love in our hearts. Have you ever thought much about arranged marriages? The bride and groom are picked out for each other by someone else. They may have never met before the wedding. Before they get to know each other or fall in love, they find themselves in a covenant relationship. I'm sure there is a lot of fear and anxiety over meeting that person for the first time. Satan would love to paralyze me with fear like that. He whispers, "What if she doesn't want you? What if she doesn't bond? What if her needs are too much for you to handle?"

But GOD says, "I am Father to the fatherless, and I have chosen her for you." As I turn over every fear and every anxious thought, He replaces them with truth. And He replaces them with LOVE for her that I can't explain. It's a love that brings tears to my eyes if I hear a song about adoption. Or see a little Asian baby. Or wonder if someone has hugged and kissed her today. With each passing day, this journey becomes less of a business transaction with contracts and payments, and more of a mother running toward her child.

And it's not just me. My husband and children pray every day for Charlotte. My two year old son constantly points to the globe in our living room and asks, "Where is China, Mommy?" My five year old sees a note on our mailbox and shouts, "Maybe it's a letter from China!" He prays each night that God won't let her grow up without us. My precious nine year old goes to the altar during a children's worship service to intercede for her sister, asking God to keep her safe.

So while I'm so ready to be done with the wait, I'll thank God that this time isn't wasted. He's using every minute to make us ready – "mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Created for Care

This past weekend I had the privilege of joining over 400 other adoptive moms at a Created for Care retreat. For me, it was a chance to get away from the "busy" and connect with other moms who are in varying stages of the adoption process - from those waiting for their first to mothers of 8, 9, even 10 children! But mostly it was about slowing down to really listen to God's voice ... to hear Him tell me who I am and how to love and raise my children in a way that points them and others to Him. 

I would venture to say that everyone who has answered the call to adopt has experienced countless miracles as God orchestrated every step of the process that led them to their child. Just the supernatural love alone that allows a person to feel a mother or father's love for a biologically unrelated child is miraculous. So to stand in a room with 400 other women who have been there, and who are continually broken for the things that break God's heart, led to the most tender, compassionate, awe-inspiring time of worship I think I have ever experienced. I always enter worship praying for God to inhabit our praises ... to be there. But on Friday night, before that thought could even really form in my head, I knew He was already there. 

I am so blessed to have been in the presence of so many amazing women. Each of their stories is nothing less than BEAUTIFUL.

It Came!!

Our CIS approval came in the mail on Friday! We've been anxiously checking the mail every day for the last few weeks waiting on this piece of paper which gives us approval to travel to China for adoption. This is the last document we needed to complete our dossier! It will have to be notarized, certified, and sent to the Chinese Consulate in Houston to be authenticated ... and then the dossier will be ready for China! Just one more step in the journey to our girl!

Please keep us in your prayers in the next few weeks as we apply for adoption grants. I fully trust in the Lord to provide, and am just praying (and believing) for wisdom as we navigate yet another complicated process. God is faithful!

Adoption Update ... Long Overdue

Well, as evidenced by the lack of blogging over the past couple of months ... it's been a busy fall! I spent 12 weeks subbing for one of my 4th grade co-workers who was on maternity leave. The best part of the job was that my daughter was one of my students! I always wanted to be a fly on the wall in her classroom, but I got to be much more than that. The 12 weeks were fun and CHALLENGING and my own little contribution to our China fund (which I reminded myself of every time I felt overwhelmed!)

In addition to working full time, taking care of my family and home, and celebrating the holidays, there was also LOTS to do for the adoption. After our home visits were completed for the home study, I was informed that there had been changes in the number of training hours required by China. So we spent most of October working on our online classes. We got our completed home study in November and sent our immigration application the very next day.

As we waited for immigration approval we began preparing our dossier for China. Each of the documents included in the dossier (marriage and birth certificates, financial and employment statements, background checks, home study, etc.) have to be notarized and then county and state sealed. After each document is state sealed it has to be sent to a courier who will hand-deliver it to the Chinese Consulate in Houston for authentication. All documents must be less than six months old, so in order to meet that deadline we sent the majority of our documents the week before Christmas. Once we receive immigration approval, we'll send the last of our documents to Houston ... and then they'll be ready for CHINA!

So ... now you can see why I had so little time for blogging! It was a whirlwind! Here are a few pictures of our fall/holiday activities.

Lots of paperwork!

Two skeptical. One delighted to touch anything yucky!

Happy Halloween from our dragon, football player, and Lucy from Narnia!

Jackson gets a bike for his 5th birthday! Nothing better than Krispy Kreme on a new bike!

Happy birthday!

Jackson chooses Rylee to help him catch tickets in the ticket blaster at Chuck E. Cheese!

Bowling for cousin Skyler's birthday

Annual leaf jumping

Some minor surgery for Little Bit

Is this legal? Kids enjoying some farm fun with Paw Paw.

Tickling the ivories with Papa

Catching a Thanksgiving nap?

Playing with cousins at the Wills Thanksgiving get-together

Decorating the Christmas tree

Big smiles with cousin Claire

Rylee loves Uncle Taylor and Brittany

Nana and Papa make great playmates!

Visiting with Santa and Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve

Hope everyone had a blessed holiday season! Thanks for checking in, and I hope to do a much better job keeping you posted in 2012!

November 3rd

Five years ago we celebrated Scott's 33rd birthday as we waited for the birth of our first son.

How appropriate that God would bring him into this world on his daddy's birthday!

From the moment I looked into his sweet face, I knew he belonged in our family.

He has brought so much joy ...

energy ...

NOISE ...

laughter ...

wholeness 

to our home.

So, today I praise God for blessing my life with these two incredible people - my best friend and my 

precious little boy! 

Happy Birthday, Scott and Jackson!