Saturday, May 12, 2012

On Mother's Day ...

I always wanted to be a mother. But when I was younger, I lumped it in with all the other titles I hoped would be mine someday – wife, friend, career-woman, mother. I thought it would be something I could juggle into my well-balanced life. I had no idea that motherhood would be so life-changing. So defining.

Every year on Mother's Day I reflect on what motherhood truly means to me. I reflect on my own mother who gave up so much to be probably the world's most perfect mother. She poured her life into me and my brothers. She suffered the deepest loss imaginable – a  loss that could've crippled her emotionally and sent her into the depths of despair – and yet somehow through her grief she kept her focus on us. She showed me what it looks like to trust God's plan even when it makes no sense. To trust His love even when you feel forsaken. I'm so blessed to have grown up completely secure in her unconditional love. I hope I am half the mom to my children that she is to me.


On Mother's Day I reflect on the mother of my husband. Scott has always told me she's one of the strongest women he knows. She has not had the easiest life – for Heaven's sake, she raised three rambunctious boys! But just looking at the character of those three speaks volumes about what kind of mother she is. Her selflessness is reflected in the calendar filled with baby-sitting appointments for her seven grandchildren. I am so grateful for a mother-in-law who loves me like a daughter and spoils my children unmercifully!


On Mother's Day I reflect on my children. 


Each one is such a gift


Infertility and loss taught me nothing if not to cherish my children – never, ever taking them for granted. 



Not a day passes that I don't thank God for trusting me to raise them and marvel at the way He brought each one to me. 



I could never repay God for this gift of motherhood, but I'll spend my entire life trying. 


The only way I can think to do this is by loving them from the depths of my heart and living as an example of Christ's love for them.


On Mother's Day I reflect on three mothers who I won't be able to take out to lunch or hug today. But they are in my heart and I will eternally owe them a debt of gratitude. They are the three brave and selfless women who chose life for their babies. One I'll never meet, but she lovingly chose a safe place to leave her newborn daughter so that she'd be found and have a chance at finding a forever family. Two of them looked at my picture in a book and chose me to mother the baby boys they were not able to mother themselves. They were praying for impossible answers and so was I. And we were each others' miracles. The moments I spent with these two women were some of the most sacred of my life. Not a Mother's Day will go by that I won't think of them and honor them by loving their babies well.

And on Mother's Day I reflect on the 147 million children in this world who do not know the love of a mother. These children of every age, race, and nationality go to bed each night without a mommy to tuck them in or read the same story over and over. No mommy to kiss their hurts or bake them cookies. No mommy to take them swimming or cheer wildly for them in the stands or teach them the love of a Savior. This is a burden I cannot ignore. And while I have been reminded that "I can't save them all," I do know Someone who can. ;)

Love to all this Mother's Day!


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