Thursday, July 7, 2011


Home study update: One word - slow! Actually, we are crossing things off the list at a fairly steady pace, but it still feels slow to me! We had to expedite our home study when we adopted Jackson because we only had a few weeks notice before he was born. And when we did Bryce's home study he was already home! So I'm just having to keep my "eyes on the prize" and keep moving forward, knowing that each step is getting us closer to our daughter.

Since the process isn't changing super quickly right now, I thought it would be fun to answer some of our most frequently asked questions about adoption. Honestly, when we started this adoption journey we really just had one goal ... to have children.We knew God was leading us to grow our family through adoption, but didn't realize that He would ask us to do more. This is not just about us, but an opportunity to advocate for orphans. We are only beginning to see what God has in store!  Just for starters, I am training to teach adoption discovery classes through our women's resource center and have already had the chance to talk with lots of couples who feel God leading them to adopt.

So what makes people unsure about adoption? What nagging fears cause them to put the idea out of their heads? I would say the number one question (and my favorite to answer) would have to be ... "Can I love an adopted child as much as a biological child?" I wish I could say I never wondered this. Really, this thought didn't enter my mind when adoption was just an "idea." But when we were actually getting ready to bring a baby into our home ... I began to wonder.

Here's the thing. I love kids ... especially babies. But I don't love all babies the way I do Rylee. I can appreciate everyone else's beautiful kids, but I don't have any maternal feelings toward them. The moment I looked at Rylee, I was in awe. I felt like she was an extension of my own self. I adored her, and would have died to protect her. That love was totally and completely life-changing.

Now here comes the good part! Four years after the birth of my daughter, I sat in a hospital room and watched a nurse wheel in a little bassinet. I looked at that dark haired baby boy ... picked him up ... stared into his little face ... and felt the SAME love that I had felt for my own flesh and blood.

I CANNOT make myself love any other baby like that! The only one who can fill a heart with the love of a mother for a child she has no biological ties to is GOD! The deep love and devotion I felt for Rylee was natural ... but the feelings I have for my boys is supernatural! It is miraculous! Opening my heart to allow God to love someone that way through ME is one of the most profound spiritual experiences I have ever had ... and I'll never be the same.


  1. Hey Amy,

    Joe linked me up with your blog. I'm so excited that you are going to China to adopt another baby. It' a wonderful experience. Loving an adopted child is a great mystery you just have to experience to understand. It isn't always "love at first sight." I was more or less Charlotte's babysitter 6 weeks into bringing her home until one clear moment when I was giving her a bath and realized it would be the end of my life if anything happened to her. It was then that I knew I loved her completely. I worried that I wouldn't be able to love a second adopted child as much as I love Charlotte--but of course I did--so much!
    Jan Westbury

  2. What a sweet post! I'm all teary! Thanks for sharing this. Matt & I would really like to adopt a child someday...but I've wondered about this, so thanks for addressing it. Love your perspective! Keep sharing! :)

  3. Great point, Jan! Everyone realizes their undying love for their children differently. My first reaction to all 3 of mine was the same ... total awe and disbelief that they were mine! I know our next experience will be very different, too. We won't hold her as a newborn ... but will have to love her from afar for awhile. And she might not love us so much right away. :) But I KNOW that God will provide that same supernatural mother's love for her.

    It's funny ... I wondered if I'd be able to love a third as much as Jackson, too!! :)

    Thanks for the comments ... I love 'em!!