Friday, July 1, 2011

A Valid Question

"You're adopting more?"

This was the question asked by the doctor yesterday when he walked into the exam room. You have to get the full picture to fully appreciate this, though. When I called to schedule adoption physicals for me and Scott, I was thinking our appointments would be back to back so that one of us could watch the kids while the other was seeing the doctor. When we got there, though, they brought us both back at the same time ... with 3 kiddos! So there were five of us in a tiny exam room ... and the boys were wearing super hero capes ... and had just come home from two days of spoiling at Grammy and Paw Paw's house. Let's just say there was lots of jumping and climbing and jabbering going on. :)

So you can see where the doctor's question was coming from. But let's face it. Lots of people are wondering the same thing. In fact, I've had more than a few "So, is this going to be it?" looks since announcing a third adoption. The truth is, by worldly standards it doesn't make much sense. Kids are WORK ... and expensive. More kids will take time, attention, and money from the ones we already have. Wouldn't it just be easier to stop now?

Well, the answer to this question goes back a long way. I guess about 15 years, actually ... maybe longer. It goes all the way back to a church sanctuary ... where a teenage girl stood singing the words, "All to Jesus I surrender. All to Him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him. In His presence daily live. I surrender all. I surrender all." I remember feeling a little pain - almost a sense of loss - while singing those words. And wondering if anyone else felt the weight of that promise. ALL. That's a lot to surrender. When you're just a kid you don't have that much to lose, but I had a lot of dreams. Plans. Hopes for the kind of future I thought would make me happy and successful. I surrendered that too. And I knew it wouldn't always be easy. That there might be a time when I'd want those things back.

And when I had my daughter ... the difficulty in surrendering ALL went to a whole new level. I never felt love like that ... I wanted ten more just like her! :) ALL I wanted in life was to be a mommy. It was my calling. But when I got ready for a second child, my promise got put to the test. Will you surrender your plans for the "perfect" family? Will you let Me give you the children I have created for you? I didn't see it at first. At first it just hurt that God would give me such a strong desire for children that I couldn't have. I already had a wonderful daughter. I asked God to just make me content with that if He didn't want me to get pregnant again. But God sets the lonely in families (Ps. 68:6), He GAVE me the desire, and He MEANT to use my promise to surrender to fulfill His purpose for my life. And for the lives of my little boys ... and Charlotte.

So YES, we're adopting again. And I'm not sure when we'll be "done." :) You see, I surrendered those decisions. God is in the process of doing "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us" (Eph. 3:20). He's in control, and I. Trust. Him.

3 comments:

  1. You have a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing your heart! very encouraging!

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  2. Very well said! Praying for you!

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